Thursday, June 23, 2005

The Depths of Crapville, Population: Me

Okay, so I need to have roughly $1450 in thirteen magical days. Will this happen? My goodness, no. Not unless I win the lottery or do something illegal. I could do porn, I suppose. I haven't exactly been using my acting degree. But that could always come back to bite me in the butt (heh, heh).
I've told way too many people about my dillema. All the people I work with know about my demotion, and that I'm looking for another job. A couple people have actually offered to help me out, finacially. I am extremely reluctant to do anything like that for several reasons. The biggest being my past experience with accepting and paying back loans from a (now) former friend (but there were many issues involving that). I don't feel comfortable accepting money from friends. It can do terrible things to the friendship. What if I can't pay the money back for a long time (like a year or more)? What if that friend suddenly needs a few hundred dollars, immediately, and I'm only paying them $50 a month? No, there are too many cons compared to the pros.
And another thing: I think management knows about my *ahem* hard times. They're an at will employer. My massive amount of complaining could be grounds for termination. Do I want to be fired? Hmm... Maybe. It would free me up to look for another job. It would also free me up to be evicted. I think I'll get to keep my car for another month.
Maybe I can take out another loan? Because nothing would be more comforting than more debt.
The job hunt is not proving to be successful. Of course I haven't been looking at all this week.
I don't like being in trouble like this. I've been in trouble like this before, but my parents were always there to help me out. That is not an option, now.
I don't like me like this. I don't like that I allow money to control me like this. I have to fix this problem, and then work on getting to a point where money does not affect me like this. Or at least not this badly.

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