Sunday, July 3, 2005

Death, Money and PMS (part 2)

So, that whole PMS and greiving thing. Yeah, not working out for me.
In case you haven't noticed by my previous posts, June was not my best month. In fact, 2005 isn't turning into the stellar year I thought it would be. Sure, there are still six months to go, but 50% is an "F" in school, my friend. Maybe I can get extra credit? Yeah, it's gonna get better.
On the plus side, I got a second job. I haven't started it yet, but it'll really help me out.
On Wednesday I called my mom up and suggested to her that we should probably agree to disagree on politics. I also suggested we never talk politics again (a girl can dream, can't she?). Mom complained that she had no one to talk politics with; that she and Dad completely agree. I then said that I didn't feel like we discussed politics, because anytime I brought up a point that was even relatively good, she would dismiss it and then start preaching at me, and I didn't like that. Well, anyway, I thought we agreed that we wouldn't discuss politics, again.
Today my Mom forwarded me an email, with pictures, explaining that this country was in fact founded on Christianity. It was full of pictures of Moses and the ten commandments being displayed in the supreme court, quotes from the first supreme court justice, John Jay, saying that Americans should chose Christians over anyone else for our "rulers" (his word, not mine). Then it said that 86% of Americans believe in God, so the other 14% "should sit down and shut up!" It also asked to please forward it if you agreed with them.
You know what I did? I cried. I've been crying on and off for about three hours, now. Partly grieving for my manager, partly angry at my mom for sending that to me and all the things it may imply, and partly for how crappy everything has been. Then, after finishing crying for the first time, I went back and replied to my Mom's email with a cynical response. I said things like I knew she wasn't actually emailing me that from her, but rather she was showing me what some stupid people emailed her. And I agreed with her that those people were stupid, and isn't it great that we live in a country where we can believe in an all-accepting God who can forgive those people who think they're better than everyone else. I assured her that I would research all of my young, Democratic, idealistic literature to find some happier, more patriotic facts (or at least some insulting ones about John Jay) that she could shove in those peoples faces. I also pointed out in the pictures of the ten commandment tablets that they were written on in Hebrew. I also said that that attitude of "we're-better-and-we-can-prove-it" is the same attitude that led certaint cults in other parts of the world to crach planes into the buildings of people who didn't believe like them. The same attitude, only more desparate.
So I sent that horrible, mean mess, and then I cried. A lot. I wonder if I'll get a response? I wonder if Dad sent it? Boy, will he be in for a shock. But he knows better than that. That's a definite Mom move.
I'll talk to Mom, tomorrow, even if she doesn't want to. We're both behaving like children, and this has got to stop. If she starts talking politics, I'll just have to be assertive.
I don't like being the parent.
Maybe moving back in with my parents isn't a good idea? Oh, wait. I hadn't brought that up on here, yet. Well, next time.

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